Suppressed memories
2010-09-10
“We have shown in this study that individuals have the ability to suppress specific memories at a particular moment in time through repeated practise,” study Brendan Depue of the University of Colorado in Boulder.
Up until I was 15 my family unit was made up of my Mom, Dad, me Melanie and Jason my 16 year old brother. After I had turned 16 my brother got caught molesting me, he was sent away and effectively removed from my life. I do not even remember what he looked like as Mom destroyed all pictures of him. At the same time I entered intensive therapy.
Now that I am 24 I am out of therapy and truly do not remember what my brother did as my therapist used a technique which suppressed specific memories. This technique taught me how to bury the traumatic events so that I could no longer remember them. It was done so that I could lead a normal, productive, happy life, free of what must have been a terrible cruel experience.
I think it worked as I have just graduated from collage, moved to a new city, landed a good career starter job and have my own one bedroom apartment. I have dated some but have yet found "Mr. Right".
Although I am not a virgin I have not slept with many guys. None of my partners made me feel as aroused as they depict in the movies or how some of my friend's describe with their own sexual experiences. Something was always missing, oh well it will eventually happen I am sure.
Mom and Dad were not too keen on my move as it is almost across the continent but I told them I needed to go where the jobs were for my chosen profession and they reluctantly accepted my decision.
On my way to work I would stop at a coffee shop and do some preparation for the day on my laptop.
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It was during one of those morning stops that my life changed.The coffee shop was crowded and a young man asked if he could sit down. I could not refuse him as the empty chair at my table was likely the last one left. I told him be my guest and went back to my laptop.
After a few minutes I heard the young man clear his throat to get my attention. When I looked up he said is there a chance I know you? I said it was unlikely as I had just moved to the city. He asked where I had grown up and I told him. He then introduced himself saying his friends called him Jay and asked me my name.
He may have been a little forward but he was cute so I told him my name was Melanie. We talked some more and just before I had to leave he asked if I would allow him to show me the city seeing as I was new and all. I said yes and we made arrangements.
It was not going to be a date more of a get to know you while we went on a walking tour. Jay and I met on the Saturday at around noon. It was a great day for the tour as it was sunny but not too hot.
Jay immediately said that I needed to sample some of the local cuisine and it would be his treat.
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I protested that this was not part of the deal but he took me by the hand to a hot dog vendor. I could not help but laugh. I was definitely attracted to Jay as I was at ease with him as if we already knew each other.He was right the hot dogs were very good. We walked ate and talked. I told him about my life of course leaving out my tragedy and even the existence of a brother.
Jay told me that his own parents had been taken a way from him by an accident when he was seventeen and he moved to this city right after that. To say the least we had a great day. Jay showed me the historic sites but also places that young people our ages went for fun.
By the time the day was done and I had to go home I was feeling great. Jay had made most of my home sickness disappear. Just before we were to go our separate ways Jay asked me for a proper date and I said yes. I was hoping he would ask and we made plans for the next Saturday night.
The next week I did see him once at the coffee shop but our timing was poor as he was just leaving when I was arriving. All we had time for was Jay whispering in my ear "See you Saturday beautiful" and he was gone.
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That made me blush. I crossed my fingers hoping this guy would be the right one to let into my heart but cautioned myself to take it slow.Saturday came and I dressed to knock Jay out. He picked me up at my apartment right on time. I was a little bit late but it can take time to transform into every man's desire. When he came in he presented my with two flowers, a single red rose and a flower he pinned in my hair.
Maybe he had ESP because the flower for my hair matched my dress perfectly. I will admit I am susceptible to romantic gestures so Jay had certainly started things off right.
When I was finally ready Jay said I looked stunning and worried that he had not hired body guards to protect me. This guy had a silver tongue to be sure and it was just what I needed.
We went to dinner and then clubbing until late. It was a magical evening but I think I did the majority of talking which happens when I am excited. Jay seemed to like listening and would just gaze at me and smile.
I wondered how a first date could be so comfortable with a guy I barely knew. That was OK with me as I certainly went on enough lousy first dates so the change was much appreciated.
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When the evening was over and he saw me to my apartment I asked him in but he said that he had somethings to do early the next day and it was already very late.
He asked me if I would see him again and I said yes. Then he gave me a good night kiss I will remember for the rest of my life. It was soft and sweet with the merest tease of tongue. Like a hint of sexier things to come.
After that kiss my nipples were erect and I was flush. I hope he had not noticed as I was very embarrassed to be taken by surprise like that. He held my hands, gazed into my eyes and said it was like we knew each other in a past life. I smiled and looked away but he had hit the nail on the head.
After Jay left I masturbated to a great orgasm thinking of his hands caressing me. My feelings were very intense more intense than with the men I had had sex with. I had a decision to make which was if I would be slutty and have sex with Jay after the second date. Dam the thought made me wet.
Jay called Monday night and said that he found it was always better that on a second date the girl should make the plans but he would still pay. He warned me he could not afford a trip to Paris for brunch but other than that I was free to choose.
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So we set a time for him to pick me up the following Saturday.The whole week I was on a high and Saturday could not come soon enough. I am a fair cook so decided that we would have an intimate candle light dinner and watch a romantic chick-flick movie together.
Well I had to check if we had compatible taste in movies didn't I? You may say that I was being a very cheap date but I really just wanted him all to myself with no other women around as a possible distraction.
When he knocked on my door he presented me with flowers and again he put one in my hair. Jay said that to see a women in full bloom puts any flower to shame and kissed me. I tingled right down to my toes. When the kiss finished I still had my eyes closed but when I opened them he was gazing down and smiling.
I blushed a little and said better check dinner. Jay followed me and threw away the bag in which he had carried the flowers in my waste bin. I asked Jay to please open the wine on the counter.
We chit-chatted about everything and nothing. It felt a little like we were an old couple. Jay's words about a past life echoed in my mind and I smiled.
Jay stopped me and said please always smile as you increase the happiness in the room.
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Then he walked up behind me and kissed my neck.Then I said keep that up and we will be eating a burned supper. He moved away but I kept that smile he seemed to like so much.
Dinner was nice and I had a glass or two more of wine then usual. Jay did not seem to drink much. After dinner he started clearing up when I tried to stop him he said this was a way to pay for such a tasty meal.
When we were almost done with the dishes, Jay washing and me drying, I playfully bumped him with my hip and giggled. He shook his head and teased do that again gorgeous and there will be consequences. Of course I did and he flicked his wet soapy fingers in my face.
I fained I was mad and went to give him a girly punch when he grabber both my arms, put them behind me and gave me a kiss better than that wonderful good night kiss. I got weak in the knees, Jay let go of my arms and held me tight.
What the hell my body flooded with the feelings that I was being held by my lover. The feeling was spooky as I had never remember feeling like that before. We finished the last of the clean up in comfortable silence.
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I decided right there and then that if Jay wanted he could spend the night. My body over ruled anything my brain had to say. Jay and I went to the TV room and I asked him to pour us some more wine and get the movie ready to watch while I changed.
I put on a negligee which was not too overt but was still enticing. I did not want to come off as slutty as I felt but definitely wanted him to know I was open to interesting possibilities.
When I entered the room Jay saw me smiling and asked if I knew CPR as he may need it cuddled up to such a sexy nubile young women. I smiled back and Jay asked if I would turn slowly as he wanted to drink me all in.
I turned and when I was in profile stuck my butt and arched my back flashing my sexy panties. I could not help myself he made me feel so horny. He sighed as I did that and made me feel more desirable than I had in years. It was like I had forgotten how to be sexy but Jay could bring it out in me.
I cuddled under his arm and we watched the romantic comedy. It was a good choice and we both laughed. I sniffled in a few spots. To cover up I drank the glass of wine Jay poured me.
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He was not drinking.Later into the movie I started to feel real drowsy. Maybe I was just comfortable or had drunk too many glasses of wine and I fell asleep in Jay's arms.
Smelling salts brought me around, it was still dark outside. As the sleepy haze cleared I realized that I was gagged, naked and tide up spread eagle on my bed. There was Jay sitting on the bed and from what I could see was also naked.
I tried to scream, when I realized that no one would be able to hear I started to cry. Jay tenderly wiped my tears away and said there was no way he would every hurt me but what he had done was necessary. What the hell was this weirdo talking about?
I was confused and wondered how this date had gone so wrong. I prayed that I had not invited a serial killer into my home. Just then Jay bent down and tongued my navel.
He shocked my whole body as my navel is one of my erogenous zones. As he did it more I could not help but wiggle and got hot and wet as he was doing it so well. I was still scared and mad but god it had been so long since I had had sex.
Jay stopped and said if I did not start yelling he would remove the gag which must be uncomfortable by now.
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I nodded and he untied it but kept the gag in easy reach to stuff in my mouth if I attempted to make a ruckus.Jay asked me if I had ever told anyone about how a tongue in my navel turned me on? Then he went back to tonguing my navel. In between my squirms warm tingles spread down to my pussy and up to my nipples, I thought about his question.
Soon a vague image of me telling a young teen boy what he should do to turn me on. How could Jay know how I liked to be touched. This was uncomfortable but god I was getting so hot at the same time.
Jay then asked me to think of the first time I saw porn and what kind was it. Then he started to lightly flick his tongue on my nipples. The feeling of his tongue made me push my chest out to get more contact. My body was taking control over my rattled mind.
Why oh why was Jay a wacko. He could have had all of me with out this trickery? In fact if I had known he could get me so excited I would have given myself to him on our first date.
To try to regain control over my wanton body I started to think when I had seen my first porno and it must have been when I was fourteen as my friend Penelope gave me a DVD of amateur teens making love. She had moved away the summer I was fourteen. That was the same summer that my parents let my brother and I stay home alone when they were at work.
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Jay briefly stopped licking my nipples and my inner slut moaned in disappointment. Jay asked me, well if you remembered that then do you remember how it effected you? What the hell was going on where was all these questions leading? He did not even ask that I tell him what I remembered.
Before I could think too deeply Jay pinched both my nipples and leaned over to nibble on my neck and before I could stop myself moaned please don't stop. I knew in my heart that I really did not want him to stop. I even did not mind being tied up as the submissiveness was adding to my arousal.
With this new stimulation I thought back to Jay's question and remembered that after watching the videos I had been turned on big time. The amount of times I masturbated per day went up. I even started to wear more revealing cloths when my parents were not home.
Jay kept stimulating my body eventually moving a hand to stroke my inner thigh. I jumped and my pussy was trying to will him to touch her.
Jay stopped kissing my neck but kept stroking my inner thighs getting closer and closer to my pussy. Then he asked if I had done anything risque to try to entice a boy with my body.
At first nothing came to mind but I did remember that even with masturbation I wanted a real man's touch and that made me very horny all the time.
I lost concentration as Jay's hands were now touching all around my pussy and my wanton sex was forcing my pelvis off the mattress. Jay leaned down and blew his hot breath across my pussy mound and I had a small orgasm.
I hoped Jay had not noticed but when I opened my eyes I saw him smile and said no women is more beautiful then when she comes. Sometime in the past I had heard those words. That jogged a memory of me not wearing panties in my house and making sure my brother got naked pussy glimpses while we watched TV.
Jason left to go to his room and I crept up and opened the door a crack watching him masturbate. I was masturbating with him. When his cum spurted from his cock in an arc splashing down on his chest he moaned "For you Melanie". I come harder than I ever had. As soon as I recovered I went to my room and masturbated again to that erotic scene. Somehow I had totally forgotten about that incidence.
God that thought started me working towards another orgasm as Jay's relentlessly stroking continued. He even added navel tonguing which took me to another level of arousal. Jay ask me if I remember the first blow-job I ever gave?
I was becoming a bit frustrated as I wanted my pussy touched real bad when Jay moved his caresses to the edge of my slit still teasing but moving in the right direction. This added extra, made me say out loud "Oh my god". Jay probably thought that this was due to the effect his hands had on me but it was not.
I remembered that several days after watching my brother cum saying my name that masturbation over that voyeur scene was no longer effective.
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I needed to see my bro's cock again. In the middle of the night I went to Jason's room. He was asleep lying on his back. I lifted his covers and to my delight he slept in the nude.I carefully reached out and touched his flaccid cock. I did that a couple of time and it twitch. I kept touching him and his cock started to get bigger. Soon I was stroking lightly and he groaned.
I dropped to the floor but I could tell by his breathing that he was still asleep. When I got up again his cock was long and straight. I pull my panties to my knees and started playing with myself. I was wet in no time and massively horny.
As I had seen on the porn videos I leaned over and gave his cock a lick from the base to the tip. I felt something slimy on my tongue when I got to the tip. Jason's cock started to pulse off his groin and then back down and he groaned again.
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I was rubbing my clit furiously now, this was so exciting. I lost all caution and leaned over and took his member in my mouth and started to suck that slimy stuff into my mouth. I heard Jason groan again and then felt his hand on the back of my head pushing more of him into my mouth.
I am not sure if he was awake or not but he was definitely liking what I was doing. Along with him pushing my head down his pelvis pushed up and I felt the head of his cock hit the back of my throat and start to slip in just as I needed to get some air.
When I was pulling back Jason grunted again, I felt his cock pulse and he came in my mouth. I could not stop sucked and swallowed while at the same time I came hard. God those thoughts were so erotic and wonderful. I loved my brother's cock and he rewarded me with his cum.
I put the covers back over him and went back to my room with the taste of brother cum in my mouth and an amazing erotic memory. Of course I masturbated again but I was thinking how hard I would come if Jason had done it in my pussy instead of my mouth.
Jay had gone back to my tits but that was not enough and I pleaded with him to please make me come. I was way past feeling scared or hating him I was just too horny to deny my body.
Jay said he would be happy to make such a beautiful sexy women come and asked me if I remember the first time any man made me come through oral sex. Jay removed his hands from around my pussy but started a slow kiss and lick trail towards my needy pussy.
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As his decent started the memory of that the first time I was eaten out flooded back. The day after I gave Jason a blow-job I realized that he must have been asleep as he said nothing and there was not even a hint he knew what I had done.
I continued to masturbate to the memory but like last time I just wanted more of the real thing. I was watching some downloaded porno when I saw how much pleasure and heard the orgasmic sounds a teen had when her BF sucked on her pussy. I immediately thought how could I get Jason to do that to me.
When my parents were at work I found Jason watching TV and sat down beside him in a t-shirt with no panties on. I snuggled up to him and he raised his eye browse as I did not do that often. I guess he was OK with it and rapped an arm around me giving me a nice squeeze.
After a while I said I needed to ask him something very personal and private. He said OK what is it. I got him to promise that he would never tell anyone. He agreed but I could tell he was getting a bit impatient.
I told Jason that I had never had an orgasm and had tried all the things other girls were doing to masturbate but they were not working on me.
He went real quite and waited for me to continue. I raised up and asked him of he would lick my pussy as it was the only thing I had not tried.
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I told him that I would suck his cock to pay him back.He looked into my eye and said, so it was you last week. I was about to stutter a denial but I could see he would not believe me. He shook his head saying when he was fully awake from what he thought was an intense wet dream there was no semen to clean up but his cock was all wet and slick. There was no one in his room so he thought it was just a dream, one that he would love to repeat.
Then Jason said well I guess I owe you one so OK I will lick your pussy. I was wet instantly and grabbed his hand pulling him to my room. As soon as we got there I took off my oversize t-shirt getting naked.
I got on the bed and watched Jason strip. Soon his hard cock was bobbing in front of me and I licked my lips. Jason said a deal is a deal, you first sexy sister.
Jason got on the bed between my legs. I asked if he had ever done this before and he chuckled asking if I notice that his girl friends smiled a lot? Oh my I squealed. Jason grabbed my thighs and started to spread them apart.
Just then I felt Jay doing the same thing to me.
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I had not even noticed that he had untied my legs. I sunk back into my memory. It was so strong that I could almost feel Jason kissing my inner thighs on the way to my pussy.Jason finally got to my pussy and gave it a long slow lick from taint to clit. If he had not held me down I would have bounced off the bed. Just then Jay licked my slit and I moaned Jason and he looked up my body and smiled.
In my mind the memory of the first time Jason licked my pussy and what Jay was doing to me merged into something surreal I was living and reliving one of the most erotic moments of my life.
I felt love and loved, passion and obsession, hunger and satisfaction all mixed into the horniest state my young melded body-mind had experienced then-now.
Jay-Jason touched, tasted, licked and kissed me body into ecstasy I came and came again and still they sent me into another orgasmic wave. Then the memory and Jay stopped with me panting and my body glowing.
Jay undid my hands and stroked my face, beasts, stomach to my pussy. I opened my eyes seeing him between my legs slowly stroking his hard cock.
My eyes went wide as it all came back the deception, the lies, the denial of what was true. My parents and psychiatrist had suppress my memories that I was really the one who seduced my brother into having incestuous sex. He had never molested me but he had made love to a sister who needed him.
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Jay said sexy now remember all your experiences as he pushed himself into my slipped pussy. Then leaned over me and started a deep steady stroke that a sister has craved for so long.
I pleaded please fuck your sexy sister Jason and satisfy my needy desires. With each sweet stroke all the memories came back of the two years when my brother and I made love every chance we got.
My body had never felt so fulfilled and now he was back inside me where my brother belonged. I had tears of joy flowing and I heard my moans encouraging him to fuck his sister as she needed him so.
I came shouting out Jason's name and he continued pumping into his needy sister. I felt him increase the pace and groaned. I said please cum in me your sister needs your seed, I love you Jason.
I was building getting ready to come with Jason soon I heard and felt him come and my pussy walls gripped his cock buried deep as he spewed that incestuous brother sperm into my waiting pussy. Jason leaned over me and gave me a post climax kiss better than anyone had ever given me before.
He pulled out of me and said my name is Jay but I will be Jason anytime, as you are one amazing sexy kinky lay just as I like my women.
He pulled on his cloths said he would call me tomorrow and left me stunned naked and feeling so well fucked I could not get mad. Besides the great sex I had my stolen loving memories restored. .
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