I stood outside Tiana’s house with flowers and a jewelry box in both hands, wondering who’s car was out front. Who did I know who drove a big yellow monstrosity of a vehicle? The exterior was so shiny that the owner was probably a meticulously obsessive car-freak. Tiana came from rich parents, though, so I figured it was a probably a friend of theirs stopping by or something. Being only fifteen, I didn’t fully understand how adults worked, though adulthood always fascinated me, and desperately I wanted to enter it, in whatever way possible.
I began to think about this again, these damn thoughts, as I approached Tiana’s door. We had only been together for four months to the day, hence the gifts, and already sex had come to mind. She had gone down on me a couple times, but it was never anything special. Those few had been my first few blowjobs and receiving the initial one brought me back to the boys’ locker room in seventh grade, when all the big jock guys would brag about how “fucking awesome” it was when a girl “sucked cock. ”
But when Tiana did it to me, my initial thought was, “Is…that it?”
I didn’t even come. Hell, I barely was able to come when she finished me off by “giving me hand” as she called it. Also, she had this rockin’ body but never showed it to me. Whenever I managed to reach under her shirt was synchronized with the turning off of her bedside lamp. I felt her tits but never saw them. As a grand finale, the one time I went down on her, she didn’t even budge. For a second I thought she had died. Tiana wasn’t enjoying me, but I was young and didn’t understand these things.

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How was I going to enter the adulthood I yearned for if my girlfriend was completely unreceptive? Sex didn’t have to be my ticket, I thought; it could just be love. Something. Anything to make me stop feeling like a child. And what I saw when I got to Tiana’s front door didn’t help a god damned bit.
Ian Rodney. Son of a bitch. He had Tiana’s head between his raised legs, clamping her ears between his thighs while she blew him; Ian looked ecstatic. She was giving him the head of a lifetime! Funny how I realized this before I realized the bigger picture: TIANA WAS GETTING FUCKED IN THE MOUTH BY ANOTHER GUY!!


Maybe I can get money back for this necklace I got her.
And my mom likes fresh bouquets on the mantle; I can just take off the tag.
The last four months bent and contorted to form one huge question mark in my mind as I reeled back home to the middle-income part of town, on foot. What the hell was Tiana doing with me if her behavior towards me was how it always was? Never was there a blissful moment, I recollected, and then never did a blissful relationship turn drastically into what we had: what we had was what we always had. And it’s not like I was one of the “popular” kids at school, so it wasn’t status. Obviously she didn’t enjoy sexual acts with me and wasn’t willing to give up her fucking whore-pussy, so what the fuck was she doing with me?
A horrid thought spat on my brain: was she with me out of pity?
Oh fucking Christ, that’s painful.
Morosely I entered my house and began my descent into lethargy and sadness by fulfilling my plan and ripping off the tag on the flowers, sticking them spitefully in a vase and putting them on the mantle. I’d explain it to Mom.

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   She’d understand. The necklace I stuck in my backpack, and then checked my wallet and found the receipt, and inserted it into the same pocket as the jewelry box. I felt tired. I wanted a shower and to do nothing on this horrible Friday afternoon and night.
Stripping down on my way upstairs to the bathroom, confident that I was here alone, I was in my boxers by the time I reached the shower doors. The shower was hot and good, and when I was done I went into my room and donned my pajama pants with a bunch of different street signs on them and a T-shirt sporting the popular “I (heart) NY. ” When I came downstairs again, I was surprised to see my mom home early, and my best friend Julie sitting on the couch, and they were talking about the school’s soccer team or something.
“I tried out, but I sucked, so I didn’t even look at the roster when it was posted. ” Julie had apparently tried out for the team. Why didn’t I know that? She had looked more and more beautiful over the years as our friendship evolved from two rugrats spilling chocolate milk on the antique Chinese rugs to preteens racing bikes through our modest little subdivision. Now, as we were high school kids, our hormones at an all-time high, she was actually an appeasement to my sore eyes. When she turned to look at me with a sort of shy, confused look (quite the unnatural look for Julie to make to her best friend), suddenly all memory of the afternoon’s shortcomings was erased. Tiana disappeared, Ian Rodney disappeared, the couch, the house, and that big yellow piece of shit car. All of it was gone.
Was I…feeling something for Julie? The girl I ate live frogs with when we were five in the creek behind her house? (God that was gross, but how can we resist a double-dare?)
“Aaron, honey,” my mom said, putting canned foods into the cupboard and folding the big paper sacks and sticking them under the sink.

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   “I found Julie sitting outside when I got here. Didn’t you hear her knocking?”
“No, I was in the shower. ” To Julie, I said, “Hi, Julie. ”
Without a word, she gave a weak smile and a wave. What the hell is going on?
“Well, here’s some money. You and Julie order a pizza. I have to go to some stupid meeting, and I’ll be home in three or four hours. ”
“Jesus, Mom. Where’s the meeting?”
“At the Hilton downtown. Big ritzy thing. President of the company’s coming down and he’s feeding us and making some grand spectacle of corporate stock or some bullshit. ” My eloquent mother, at her conversational best. “Have fun!” she called from the foyer to the garage. “Use the change to rent a movie if you want!”
Don’t all stories you read wind up like this? The parent naively leaving a boy alone with a girl? Well, sorry, but this is still no exception. Julie and I had spent nights alone together without a single problem, so we were trusted.

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   As the night would turn out, I bet my mom would have put us in plastic bubbles had she known. For now, though, I just went into the little kitchen we had and found the Domino’s Pizza coupon book and kept my mouth running while Julie just looked at me with this oddly disappointed expression.
“What kind of pizza do you want? Oh why should I ask? Canadian bacon and pineapple, and I bet you know what I’m going to get on my half. Sausage and pepperoni. Really, all we could do is call them up, give them our phone number and say, ‘I’d like the usual. ’ They’ll probably even recognize my voice. How was school today? I didn’t know you tried out for the soccer team. I didn’t know you even liked soccer! Huh! Imagine that, that I wouldn’t know that about my best friend. ”
“Your best what?” she said spitefully, and I nearly dropped the un-dialed phone on the counter. Julie was angry at me. Julie has never been angry at me.
“What?” was all I could say.
“Do you know exactly how long it’s been since we’ve even seen each other? Or have you been too busy to even notice?”
“I saw you yesterday. ”
“In the cafeteria line, Aaron! You walked by and waved and didn’t even say hi! You were with What’s-Her-Name and all of her friends. ” Growing a sarcastic bone, she said, “Don’t worry, though.

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   I’m sure they’re much better than me. ”
It was time to tell her the truth that I’d known all along. Poor girl. I hope she’ll take it well. “Julie, I’m sorry. I’ve just been blinded by Tiana all this time. She’s been distracting me for the past four months. ” Sorrowfully, I added, “To the day. ” A long silence went between us as Julie’s face transformed from fed-up anger to wondering pity. “Tiana and I ended today,” I continued. “Though she doesn’t know it. I went to her house to give her my four-month anniversary presents and she was…she was…” I’d never talked sex-things with Julie before. This felt so alien to say. “…She was going down on Ian Rodney. ”
Julie’s fingers went to her lips and she sat stunned for a moment, and then got up in my silence and came to me, walking into a waiting embrace.

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   Her face went into my right shoulder and her body began to shudder. She was crying.
“Julie, don’t cry. It’s okay. She didn’t cheat on you, did she?”
“She did. ” …Um, what? “When a girl cheats on my best friend, she cheats on me too. ” Oh, okay. “But that’s not the point. You deserve so much better than her. You don’t deserve to be hurt. I…I would never hurt you. ”
Julie must have felt my head turn to look down at her, because she kept her arms around me and pulled her own head back to meet my gaze. “Julie,” I stammered.
“Why hasn’t it been me, Aaron? Maddie Humphrey, Ivy Davis, Keri Schulte, Tiana Roberts…all of them have done nothing but hurt you, so I ask you: why hasn’t it been me? You know me, you trust me, and you know that I love you. Why hasn’t it ever been me?” To hear her say such things made my heart hurt and made my gut churn with this warmth that I still have never understood as anything but pure affection.

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“I never knew you felt this way,” I said. Her teary eyes scanned my face and fluttered shut as she fell into me, our lips meeting in a way I never thought they would. My lips felt hers, and they felt so full and passionate. Eerily, the slow realization that she has always loved me crept to my heart, and I accepted it gratefully.
We stood there kissing in the kitchen for a minute until she broke away and moved to the other side of the counter, sat down on a stool, and put her forehead on the stand of her arms. “You don’t want this. ”
“I do. ”
“Then why have you never acted on it?”
“Because you’ve always been my best friend. I didn’t realize until just now that I’ve loved you as much as you loved me. Trust me Julie:” and a I leaned over the counter and came face to face with her, “I want this. ”
Washed with emotion, she leaned forward and met me in another passionate, more violent kiss, climbing over the counter, crawling across the sink hungrily, never breaking the bond between our lips. I caught her so she wouldn’t fall to the linoleum. She pulled me into her body and we crashed back into the counter in front of the sink and made out wonderfully. Her hands came to my face and held me, and my hands roamed her ribcage and waist, up and down, wrapping around to caress her cotton-clad back.
Triggering something, my hands brushed innocently over the clasp of her bra.

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   Julie once again broke the kiss. “Do you want to take off my shirt?”
I honestly had never thought about it before. Those other girls she had mentioned in her cry for her to love me, Maddie, Ivy, Keri, they had all shown me their bodies, and it was quite natural and wonderful because they were merely objects of infatuation. Julie was different. I actually wasn’t sure if I wanted to see her naked body, but she looked eager, so I said, “If you want. ”
Off came her T-shirt, and I stared at her bra, having never thought I would see her this way, save for going swimming at the lake. This was a bra, though, not a bikini. Completely different realm. And they were…they were beautiful. They weren’t huge, and they weren’t tiny. Perfectly in between. As if it was all one transition, I didn’t even bat an eye when suddenly the cups fell limp, revealing the nipples and the whole shebang. Nervously she looked up at me.
“What do you think, Aaron?” Another hand went to my face, lovingly.
“You’re gorgeous,” I said.

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   “I mean, I’ve always thought you were cute, but you’re flat-out gorgeous, Julie. I’m the luckiest man in Dellenville. ” She shut me up with another kiss, and I felt her hardening nipples through my T-shirt, which she then removed! “How far are you wanting to take this?” I asked.
Bashfully, she said, “Well I don’t know. I wouldn’t mind losing my virginity to you. ”
“Me neither. ”
Julie drew in a deep breath and nodded. “Okay. ” Slowly now, less hungry for physical affection and more calculating and careful, she approached me again and beheld the waistband of my pajama pants. She made a joke about how there should be a street sign over the crotch making a dirty joke. With tentative fingers, she played with the waistband, not fully ready to remove my pants. I was about to say something when she sucker-punched me with one deft move of sliding my pants all the way down to my ankles and finding my surprised cock with her nose and closed mouth. One exasperated breath fell out of her mouth before she began to kiss me down there, slightly wetting the shaft up and down lovingly.
My dick wasn’t even inside her mouth, and already it was better than anything Tiana had ever given me. After a minute or two of nothing but that, she finally began to move her open mouth up and down, up and down, and I was in heaven.

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“How many times have you done this, Julie?”
“Never. ” No! It couldn’t be! “I’ve saved myself for you. That’s why I came over today, to ask you up front if I ever had a chance with you, or else I would have moved on. ” She gave a coy smile, with my penis in her hand, kneeling before me. “I’m glad I have a chance. ” And in her mouth I went again, over and over, until I was just about done, at which point she stopped. “No, not yet. ”
Feeling dashing, I kicked off my pants and shocked her with my hidden strength; I picked her up carry-the-bride-over-the-threshold-style and took her all the way upstairs to my bedroom, where I playfully dropped her on my mattress and laid on top of her, kissing her and feeling her body. Laughing giddily between kisses, her innocence and pure glee cheered me up and turned me on. No better combination than that.
“How would you like me to go down on you?” I asked.
Now fully comfortable with what was happening, she rolled her eyes and shrugged, lying on her back. “Sure! Never had it before. ” Donning a playful, seductive demeanor, she pulled her top half of her body up and looked at me sinfully. “Eat my pussy,” she said, and my expression must have said it all, because her golden laughter filled the room.


   “Oh this is fun! Ha-ha! I never thought this would happen!”
Chuckling one chuckle, I bent down and kissed her navel, and her laughter subsided and was replaced with short breaths. Looking up I saw her face swathed in pleasure, her eyes closed, her lips parted, her nervous hands flaring on her ribs under breasts. Her anticipation was making her wet, as I could feel with my finger. Just wait until my mouth is on you, I thought.
Since Tiana was the only one I’d done it to, I had no idea if I was good or not. Julie assured me. With every lap of tongue, every loving dig into her clitoris, the pounding of my first two fingers in and out her vagina, her body jumped and her breaths shot out rapidly. She was loving it as I was loving her. “That’s so wonderful,” she kept saying in a whisper pelted with gasps. “You’re really good. ” Another giddy laugh. “Aaron, my best friend, fucking rocks at eating me out! This is priceless! I love it!”
I stopped and pulled myself over her. We were both naked, two sailboats in a sea of sheets, and our hesitant but loving eyes met and kept unblinking and constant at each other as I placed my penis at her open. Silently, I questioned her one last time before I entered, and equally as silent she approved. Best friends can do that.

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Everything was so small down there, but I put my entire six-inch penis into her and didn’t feel a hymen. Girls break ‘em all the time on bicycle seats and stuff, I thought. No, Julie was definitely a virgin. It still was hurting her, but she pulled her legs up around and braced by rear end so I couldn’t retract.
“Keep it in me,” she moaned quietly. “I’ll get…I’ll get used to it. Go slow. ”
“Oh trust me,” I said, knowing full well there was no condom over my penis, and I had no intention of impregnating her. This was going to be tedious. Awesome, but tedious. “I’ll go slow. ” Slowly, we went in synchronization. Every tiny pulse I made she met with a flex of her beautifully shaped ass-cheeks. My god, was I thinking these things about my best friend? Was I having sex with my best friend? I stopped my other thoughts and dwelled on this one. No, I wasn’t having sex with her.

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   I was making love with her.
For another three minutes, we did the same thing until she was comfortable, and I began to go faster. Julie spread her luscious legs wider and reached up and braced my shoulders. I thrust into her a good ten times before I came. I pulled out and let a stream of come streak across her abdomen like a comet across the Milky Way. Then she did something I would never forget: she reached down and scooped it up with two fingers and put it in her mouth and sucked her own digits like Popsicle sticks. She ate my come! How sexy!
I fell into her arms and lay there for a good half our until we got hungry. We ordered the pizza, and just watched a movie I owned, one we’d watched a million times. She spent the entire evening in my arms. My girl. My woman, actually, as I was her man. Julie and I were for each other, and I had reached adulthood. Not because I stuck my penis into a girl’s vagina, but because I stuck my soul into hers, and hers into mine. I reached adulthood by accepting a love that had always been there, and I treasured it forever.

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